Monday, February 23, 2009
Its not what you think it is
So it turns out that I was right, my ex-Doctor is stupid.
A few months back, she put me on water pills to combat my high blood pressure.
Until I saw her, I’d never had a problem with HBP. Every doctor visit was within a few points of 115/60. Almost without fail.
However, I go see this quack, and suddenly I’m at 150/100.
I take her fucking pills for 3 months. I piss every 15 minutes. I dream of pissing. I don’t drink anything for 2 days, and still I can’t stop.
I go back in, after an all nighter at work (drinking coffee mind you), and 160/120. What the FUCK?
She writes another prescription, which I promptly file under “STFU”. I skip my 3 month checkup with the old Schedule conflict excuse.
Fast forward 2 more months to Friday night (saturday morning) around 3am, I’m having pain underneath my right rib. It feels like the worst case of heartburn I’ve ever felt, only slightly shifted to the right and down.
After 3 hours, the pain goes away, and I fall back asleep.
Then, Saturday night, at around 11pm, it starts again.
Only this time, it makes what I’d been feeling before seem like a stroll through cupcake land, with pixes and fairies fellating me.
It goes on, and on, and on. Everything I do makes it hurt worse.
Sitting still? More pain.
Playing Wow? more pain.
Laying down? OMG KILL ME
Playing Rock band? Oh shit, I missed that note because I can’t move my arm, aaaah.
Taking a hot bath? Oh, wow, less pain.
Getting out of the bath and drying off? Oh fuck, take me in baby, Ima gonna die.
So DW drives me into the ER, and bless her heart driving carefully and softly, trying to minimize what I’m feeling.
All I want to do is scream at here to speed the fuck up and get there.
Instead, I clench the seat, and door handle, close my eyes and wait.
At the ER, I get undressed, get in Ye Old Backless Sack, get under the nice warm blanket, and still feel like I want to die.
BP done, temp, pee in a cup, get some xrays, get a lovely white pill that makes all the bad pain stop, but mostly, DW and I just sit in the room and talk for 3 hours.
ER doc thinks its gallbladder related, everything else came back normal.
Including my BP.
115/63. Fuck you quack russian doctor.